We often find ourselves questioning whether what we’re doing is for us. We doubt ourselves sometimes, wondering if the decisions we’ve made were the right ones. And then there are those days when we feel like we’re doing just fine.
But what happens when you keep questioning yourself? What happens when you feel so lost and confused? What happens when you begin to wonder what else is there for you?
For years, I’ve been in search of my own place — the place where I belong, the place where I’d find solace, the place where I’d be free. There are days when I tell myself this is it, and then I wake up thinking it still isn’t it.
Where do I go from here? How do I get up? How do I move forward? These questions slowly build up inside me, making the world around me hazy.
In every direction, the images of what was, what is and what will seem to be too fused together. What once was resurfaces to be what is, and I fear that it will remain to be my what will. One can only hold on to as much sanity, and I fear that if all are not contained in my hands, my grip will loosen up. I don’t want to my hands to slip, but there’s not much to hold on to. Not anymore. Or, at least, not yet.
How much longer will one have hope? How much further could one go on as hope slims down? How much more? How much more?
I want to break free. But I fear that if I do, I won’t be saved. Not anymore. Or, at least, not yet.