So you’ve embraced sadness and felt all of its existence in you. You’ve confronted the feelings you’ve been running away from, and you’re just ready for the next part. You’re ready to be okay.
The thing with okay is that it’s just okay. It’s not totally bad, but let me tell you this: it’s all good.
Do you remember when you’d just roll yourself in bed, hug a pillow, and let the tears fall? Do you remember that time when you’d feel your heart shatter as memories of what was creep into your head? Do you remember those nights when you’d feel like giving up already?
If those moments are distant memories now, then congratulations! You’re finally okay!
It’s far from being totally happy, but being okay is totally good. Being okay means you’re doing fine. You’re not feeling as bad as you used to. It means you’re taking a step further towards happiness.
Being okay is being in limbo as some would put it. But what’s wrong with being in between for now? It’s better than feeling bad still, right? It’s way better than having the idea of just giving everything up constantly in your head.
Be cautious though. Being okay does not mean you’d have days when you won’t breakdown and cry. You will. And it’s okay. It’s okay to breakdown once in a while. It’s okay to cry about what was and what could be. It’s okay to feel lost at this point. Because you’re still figuring things out in your life. You’re still testing the waters and trying to see which direction you should be taking.
Crying out of nowhere used to confuse me a lot. “Why am I still crying?” I’d ask myself. It would confuse me so much that I’d feel so bad about it. It frustrated the hell out of me. But then I realized it’s okay to still cry. Nothing wrong about it because I’m okay generally.
Personally, I like feeling okay. It has the pains of feeling sad, but it gives a taste of what’s good. While I get those bitter moments once in a while, I get to laugh much more than I used to. I get to enjoy more instead of dreading nights out.
So enjoy it. Feel it. Embrace it.
Know what it’s like to be okay. Feel every bit of what it’s like to be okay. By now, you know the difference between being sad and being okay. By now, you’re getting a taste of what it’s like to be happy. So, just be okay.
Because really, it’s okay to be okay.